Love & Real Estate: How to Find the Perfect Home for Your Future Together

Getting engaged is an exciting time filled with big decisions—wedding planning, merging lives, and perhaps even finding your first home together. While it might not be the first thing on your wedding checklist, buying a home as a couple is one of the most significant financial commitments you’ll make. It’s about more than just choosing a place to live—it’s about creating a foundation for your future together.

For many couples, homeownership represents stability, financial growth, and a place to build lasting memories. But navigating the process as a team requires careful planning, open communication, and a clear understanding of what both partners want and need in a home.

This guide will walk you through the steps to finding the perfect home together, from aligning your priorities and finances to understanding mortgage options and making a confident purchase. Whether you’re buying before or after the wedding, this is your roadmap to making a smart, stress-free decision as a couple.

Let's Dive In

Defining Your Dream Home as a Couple

Budgeting as a Team: What Can You Afford?

One of the first and most important conversations you’ll have as a couple is about your budget. It’s essential to get on the same page about what you can afford before you start house hunting. A great place to start is by discussing your combined income, current expenses, savings, and any outstanding debts.

Lenders will evaluate your debt-to-income (DTI) ratio when determining how much you qualify for, so it’s important to take stock of student loans, car payments, and credit card debt. Beyond what a lender says you can afford, you should also set a comfortable budget based on your lifestyle. Do you want to prioritize travel, future family planning, or paying off debt quickly? These factors should all play a role in your decision.

Once you have a ballpark budget, use online mortgage calculators to estimate monthly payments, including taxes and insurance. This will give you a realistic idea of what home prices fit within your means and help you avoid falling in love with a home that’s beyond your financial comfort zone.

Must-Haves vs. Nice-to-Haves

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of house hunting, but making a list of must-haves vs. nice-to-haves will help you stay focused. Start by identifying the non-negotiables—things you absolutely need in your first home. These might include:

A specific number of bedrooms and bathrooms
Proximity to work or family
A safe neighborhood
A yard for pets or future kids

Then, make a list of nice-to-haves—features that would be great but aren’t deal-breakers. This could include things like a large backyard, a finished basement, or a chef’s kitchen. Being clear on these priorities will help you make confident decisions and avoid getting distracted by flashy but unnecessary upgrades.

Future-Proofing: Planning for Potential Family Growth

Even if you don’t plan to start a family right away, it’s important to consider how your home will fit your needs in a few years. Will you need extra bedrooms, a home office, or a garage for multiple cars? Thinking ahead can save you from outgrowing your home too quickly and having to move sooner than expected.

If you’re considering a starter home with plans to upgrade in a few years, think about resale value and neighborhood growth. Buying in an up-and-coming area or choosing a home with good appreciation potential can help set you up for a successful future sale.

Understanding the Financial Side

Joint Mortgages: Pros & Cons

Buying a home together means deciding whether to apply for a mortgage jointly or individually. A joint mortgage allows both incomes to be considered, potentially increasing your borrowing power. However, it also means both credit scores will be factored into the approval process. If one partner has significantly lower credit, it could impact your interest rate or loan approval.

If one of you has a much stronger financial position, you may consider applying for a mortgage under one name to secure better terms. This can be a strategic move, but keep in mind that only the person on the loan will be legally responsible for the payments, which can create complications in the event of separation.

It’s important to discuss all options with a mortgage lender to determine the best approach based on your financial situation.

Credit Scores & Financial Considerations for Engaged Couples

Your credit score plays a crucial role in the mortgage process, affecting both loan approval and interest rates. Before applying, check both of your credit reports and look for ways to improve your scores if necessary.

Some quick ways to boost your credit include:

Paying off outstanding credit card balances
Avoiding new debt or major purchases before applying for a mortgage
Making all payments on time

Even if one partner has lower credit, there are still options available, such as FHA loans, which have more lenient credit requirements.

Saving for a Down Payment Together

A larger down payment can help lower your monthly mortgage payments and eliminate the need for private mortgage insurance (PMI). If you’re buying as a couple, discuss strategies for saving together. Consider setting up a joint savings account specifically for your down payment and committing to monthly contributions.

If wedding costs are a concern, you may also look into first-time homebuyer programs that offer down payment assistance. In some cases, couples opt to prioritize buying a home over a lavish wedding, choosing a smaller ceremony to free up funds for homeownership.

The Home Buying Process for Couples

How to Navigate Home Tours & Open Houses

When touring homes, keep an open mind but stay focused on your priorities. It’s common for couples to have different tastes, so compromise will be key. Discuss any deal-breakers before attending showings to avoid unnecessary disagreements.

Take notes and pictures at each home you visit to compare options later. You may also want to rank homes based on key factors like price, location, and features.

Making an Offer: Strategies & Negotiations

Once you find a home you both love, it’s time to make an offer. Work with your real estate agent to craft a competitive but reasonable bid. If there’s competition, consider offering a higher earnest money deposit or including an escalation clause to strengthen your offer.

Negotiations may involve price adjustments, closing costs, or requesting repairs. Be prepared to compromise but also know when to walk away if terms aren’t favorable.

Legal Considerations for Unmarried Couples Buying a Home

If you’re buying a home before marriage, consider how you’ll structure ownership. Options include:

Joint tenancy (equal ownership and right of survivorship)
Tenancy in common (each person owns a specific share)

Having a legal agreement outlining what happens in the event of separation can protect both parties. Consulting with a real estate attorney is a smart step for unmarried couples making a large financial investment together.

Conclusion: Next Steps & a “Dream Home” Planning Worksheet

Buying a home as an engaged couple is an exciting step toward your future together. By having open financial discussions, setting clear priorities, and understanding the mortgage process, you can confidently find a home that suits both your lifestyle and long-term goals.

The key to a smooth home-buying experience is preparation. Start by reviewing your finances, researching loan options, and finding an experienced real estate agent who understands your needs as a couple.

To help you get started, download our "Dream Home Planning Worksheet", which will guide you through setting your priorities, budgeting, and preparing for the home-buying journey together.